Worn out

Lately, I've been in a funk. The best way to describe it is WORN OUT. I'm tired. My brain is tired. My body is tired. I've been stressed at work for months, with lots of pressure and lots of projects. I was hoping it would get better soon and in a way it has, but in a way things have just gotten more stressful.

Last Friday, I had a board meeting at work (we are a non-profit, and we have quarterly meetings with our board of directors). I was supposed to get a raise, benefits - things I have been waiting for - and the wait has been long. Instead, it was decided that we might not even exist as an organization by the end of the summer. So not what I was expecting, for sure (well, this option has been on the table for a year now, to be fair, but some things happened that lead me to believe that it might NOT happen. That will teach me to be optimistic.) So now I'm faced with the reality that the projects that have worn me out in the first place might mean NOTHING by the end of the summer. That the job I've worked at for 4 years will soon be gone.

I'm trying to see this as an opportunity to find a better job - one that doesn't make me wait 4 years for health insurance. A job where I can contribute in a meaningful way to causes I really care about. A job that is challenging but does not have unrealistic expectations or insurmountable budgetary issues. Does such a job exist in this economy? I don't know, but I better start looking!!

Till then, I'll keep making these and reading this. I think I'll be feeling better in no time.